Ships of Auzhan Sector: The Magic Slapstick

   Originally constructed at Cantos Advanced Aerospace (CAA) shipyards on Alexandria 0308/The Void, some forty years ago, and named the Horizon when first purchased. The ship's first owner at some point encountered an odd creature on an unknown world, his encounter was somewhat comical in nature, but it triggered an idea, that has shaped the ship's destiny ever since. Somehow he captured one of the creatures and had a special modification made to the ship. Basically he had all the passageway to the bridge modified with retractable floor plates, beneath which he had a sandpit installed. Into this sandpit he released the captured creature. The idea was that the floor plates would be retracted upon activation of the anti-hijack program and/or at the push of a button on the bridge, on the arm of the captain's chair to be precise. He soon realised that the creature was in fact a pregnant female and she, and her brood, needed more room. So he was forced to extend the modification to include all ship's passageways; that in itself was an interesting, difficult, and downright hilarious undertaking, yet it was completed to his satisfaction. Thereafter the captain had the ship's name changed to the Magic Slapstick.

    How many of the creatures live under the floor plates is unknown, in fact there isn't much that is actually known about them. They have never been encountered anywhere else except aboard the Magic Slapstick and apparently on their homeworld wherever that may be. What they eat, if they even do so, is unknown, how they survive and why they do what they do is entirely unknown.

    What is known is that they appear to resemble a stick with a square or slightly rectangular thin structure on one end. They are essentially harmless, but very, very distracting.

    There has been only one documented hijacking attempt aboard the Magic Slapstick. No one except the captain is really sure what happened, but five hijackers and two passengers report the floor plates sliding into the walls leaving the passageway floor covered in a layer of sand. Not long after, all seven of them swear that a mass of flailing stick-like things began repeatedly slapping them in the face. Unable to see or think clearly the hijackers fired off a few random shots before trying frantically to get out of the passageways, only to find all doors and hatches locked against them. After what seemed an eternity of slapping they finally surrendered to a laughing ship's captain. 

    The captain has never released the footage of that event, and the only evidence that it actually happened are the the statements of the hijackers when they were handed over to the authorities. The two passengers caught in the passageways later retracted their statements. One wonders if the captain of the Magic Slapstick had something to do with that.

    Referee: Details on these creatures are scarce, the captain and crew call them Magic Slapsticks, because they don't seem to need food, water or even air to survive. And their sole purpose in life seems to be to, repeatedly, and randomly, slap other creatures. 

Magic Slapstick  

Type             Size     Hits    Armour    Wounds    Weapons        Characteristics

3D Chaser    1kg      4/0     None        -2D           as Club 2D    A:If More F:6+ S:3

 

 Note: That the wounds (-2D) and the weapons damage (2D) should be rolled to determine actual damage, I've chosen to have them just cancel each other out. So while attacks are essentially harmless, the fact that the attacks are repeated, randomly from multiple creatures, makes clear thought and conscious action a near impossibility, all one can think about is getting away from the flailing attacks (treat all characters/NPCs under attack as if they have no skills and automatically incur a -5 DM to any tasks while under attack.

    This one is clearly modelled on the encounter in the Hitchikher's Guide to the Galaxy film and is meant as a humorous interlude during a game.